Code Of Conduct (A Guideline Only. Trust Has The Real Value)

Preamble : A Social Club

Beyond the Debate and Support aspects of the club, this is a Social club.
In fact, the Debate and Support aspects of the club are intended to "enhance" the Social core of the club.

"Friendships Made On A Foundation Of Honesty, Are Friendships Which Will Endure."

Policy #1 : What Is Said In Club, Stays In Club

It is almost unnecessary to add this policy since it is implicit by the very nature of the club's purpose that personal matters shared between club members, stay between club members.

Policy #2 : Know Yourself

Opening up to other people is inherently a risky thing to do.
Opening up to other people exposes oneself to being hurt.

Know Yourself.
Take Care Of Yourself.

When you are sharing with the club, talking about your feelings, talking about your personal experiences,
know yourself, and share as much as you feel is right for you.

You are your own best friend.
You are the keeper of your truths.
Honor yourself. Respect yourself.
Share what you feel you can share, what you want to share.

"When you have yourself, you are never alone."

Policy #3 : Permissions

The Truth is a precious thing.
It is a rare jewel in a gray landscape.

Giving your truth to another person is a powerful gift, a charged gift, a gift that may be more than another can easily bear.
It is like giving a sun to someone.
The brightness can blind.
The heat can burn.

Human beings are naturally peaceful creatures (so I believe) and are horrified by the notion of hurting each other (unless they are in pain themselves, in which case, like does unto like).
The Club's aim is honesty and truth, but, it is something which needs to be carefully shared.

"You do not water a garden with a fire hose, for you would destroy the garden.
Nourishing a garden with water requires it be carefully applied.
Not too much. Not too little. As close to Just Right as possible."

When a Club Member wishes to share an honest opinion with another member they simply request beforehand,
"May I be honest with you?"
or,
"With your permission, I'd like to speak plainly. Is that alright?"
or,
"Please do not be offended if possible, but I wish to share with you how I really feel. Can I?"
or any other form of politely asking for permission to share one's personal truth.

If the Club Member being addressed acquiesces, then that Club Member is
taking responsibility,
taking ownership,
for the truth that they will hear.

It may not be easy.
Very likely it will not be easy to hear if the thing needed permission to be asked,
but, it is an almost sure thing, it is a near-certainty, it will be something valuable to hear.

"One truth carries more weight than a hundred lies."

This is how people grow.
Other people do not offer their truth to hurt, or spite, but to help one see what they do not themselves see.

...and, naturally, just because another person offers their truth, does not mean it is right.
You determine what is right : for you.

Policy #4 : The Friendship Process

Trust is earned.
It will take time for people in the club to open up to each other.
It will take time for people in the club to become friends with one another.
But it will happen, because club members are seeking truth with each other, and nothing is more natural to human beings.

"Human beings are creatures of truth."

So, take your time.
No need to rush things.
Open up to other people as quickly, or as slowly as you like.
The club is here to help you grow and, by virtue of your presence, helping others grow.

Policy #5 : When Emotions Are Running High...

Honesty is a powerful thing.
It is a sleeping giant which lies quiescent inside of us most of the time,
but,
when it is released,
very few know how to control its strength,
so that it does not lay waste to what surrounds it.

With this in mind,
when tensions run high,
members will be encouraged,
or if need be requested to :

1. Go to the Club's Secondary Room and try some private meditation and contemplation.
2. Take a walk when they find their emotions are becoming more than respectful interaction can accommodate.

Yet, when a Club Member is going through difficult, powerful emotions, they need not do so alone.
1 or 2 other members are encouraged to join their fellow member in the Secondary Room, or accompany them on their walk,
providing a sounding board,
or just some company.

Still, sometimes, it's best, to just sort things out for yourself.

In the quiet and darkness of the Secondary Room you may,
"Immerse Yourself In The Silence, And Let The Silence Speak."

If you are taking a walk, use VIU's many, many, many steps to advantage to exercise your powerful emotions.